What should I do with my husband?

Readers Question Readers Question: (Name changed for privacy)
Stanton Peele Response by: Dr. Stanton Peele
Posted on April 24th, 2010 - Last updated: January 31st, 2014
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[Note: Many people ask questions about others which are actually about themselves.]

Hi Stanton,

I am sure this is not unfimiliar to you with my such case. I have been married for almost 6 years to my husband, we have growen apart tremendously, and all because he ignores me, turns his back on me at nights when in bed, and will NOT talk to me. I give him plenty of oppertunities to come and talk to me, but he does not. When I talk to him, he sits with his hands folded in front of his mouth and will not talk! He has had affairs before on me, he has left us 3 times, us includes a daughter 8 and a son 5. He did not call for a month! When he did call I begged him to please come home! You see I have been married before, but never felt this way before either, LOVE! But what I am to do? Counseling will never change his habits! Should I just say it finally, “It’s over?” I am lost! He ignores his kids when he wants to really get to me! Like he already hasn’t.


Let me summarize:

As to your husband,

won’t talk to you
holds his hands in front of his mouth when you ask him to talk
has affairs
ignores you in bed
left you and two children three times without a call
ignores children as well as you
will never change (according to you)


continue to try to talk to him
despite his affairs, welcome him to bed
beg him to return when he leaves you

What would you tell someone who told you this?


Thank you, I do understand now! I really never looked at it from that point of view. I am on my way to getting the help I need, and of course I have put those selfish feeling away to ever beg him to come back or talk to him. I have to put my kids first now and get them through life without this kind of hardship to interfere with them.

Thanks again.


Stanton Peele

Dr. Stanton Peele, recognized as one of the world's leading addiction experts, developed the Life Process Program after decades of research, writing, and treatment about and for people with addictions. Dr. Peele is the author of 14 books. His work has been published in leading professional journals and popular publications around the globe.

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