Jenn’s experience with NA
Posted on August 15th, 2018 - Last updated: November 10th, 2020
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Last week we wrote to tell you how several readers are using the comments in the blog section of our website as a forum for sharing their experiences.
In the following extract, Jenn shares her experience of escaping from the world of NA meetings.
Everyones experience will be unique – but this is Jenn’s thoughts, and as we read them we can imagine ourselves sitting right beside her in that room, and we can get a real understanding of how Jenn feels.
“I haven’t been to an NA meeting in about 3 months. The people in the meeting aren’t so healthy. Ive been to many different groups. I am constantly hit on and sexual comments are constantly coming my way, regardless if i firmly stand my ground that it is not ok. I was having “using” dreams at least once a week, while being in the rooms for the past 2 years. Since I’ve stopped, i haven’t had a single dream. Looking back on situations, there wasn’t much healthiness here. Im at a point where i don’t want to be around people from NA. Its that husband cheating on his wife with a member, that guy over there telling you that you will use if you don’t go to all the activities, this girl sleeping with all the guys, this one is using and lying right in front your face, that guy trying to grab your ass, 2 women who have 20 yrs clean but are still bat shit crazy, none of the home group members can keep a commitment to save their life, this one stealing money from the group and stealing books. I’m like geez, these are not the kind of people that i want as friends. The ones with years clean don’t stay in the meeting so i am having to talk most of the time bc the newcomers are terrified. This isn’t just from one group in my area. This occurs at any NA group within 30 miles from where i live. I feel free from the madness that is created. Im also doing therapy with a licensed counselor/life coach. My life is more peaceful without NA at the moment and i have 4 1/2 yrs clean. Im glad to see others that feel the same. Most of my highschool friends that found NA or AA have stopped going and are still clean.”
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Dr. Stanton Peele, recognized as one of the world's leading addiction experts, developed the Life Process Program after decades of research, writing, and treatment about and for people with addictions. Dr. Peele is the author of 14 books. His work has been published in leading professional journals and popular publications around the globe.
I agree 100%, the meetings in my area are terrible. Most of the people are nuts and offer poor advice. I was relapsing, and made to feel guilty about it(while many members of the group openly laughed making me feel worse!), and the meeting members looked down upon me. I grew tired of the meetings and stopped going. Since then, I have remained clean. I do see a counselor and that helps immensely. If you have one person in your life that you can tell anything and share exactly what you are feeling, it helps me a lot. The groups at the meetings, it was very much like the different social groups in high school. You have the longer sobriety who look down upon and laugh at the new comers. You have the medium sobriety who are trying to fit in and emulate the behavior of the long sobriety, even though a lot of their behavior is extreme poor form, crude (say whatever they want regardless of it being hurtful, sexist, etc. and you are supposed to just take it and thank them!) and then the newer sobriety still living like they are using, all sleeping around, basically living the party lifestyle but doing or trying to do it sober, and then you can sprinkle in the medium and long term sobriety into this as they prey on the new comers for sex and entertainment! Its like a cross between a fraternity party and high school cliques competing for attention, sex, and the new comers. Not the people I want to hang with, learn anything from, or see often.