Is group support, like that provided by AA, essential to Recovery?

Dear Stanton,

I’ve tried AA, and though I know group support helps some people, it has never worked for me. I’m a private person, and the thought of sharing my struggles with strangers is overwhelming.

I found your program through an internet search for self-help addiction recovery, and I liked the idea that it’s more introspective. But can I really recover without the kind of community support that so many other programs emphasize?

Charlotte

---

Dear Charlotte,
Let me respond with four points:

1. Many people are not comfortable discussing addiction or other problems in a group setting.
   People have personal preferences in regards to disclosing and discussing personal problems like addiction with strangers in a group. This is simply the way that they — or you — feel comfortable. It is something like a personality trait. That is, not something to be approved or disapproved of. It’s just the way you function best. You will have a difficult time changing if you feel uncomfortable in a setting.
2. Of course people can change — including addictions — without group support.
   Let’s think about a very common and difficult to quit addiction— smoking. You may know of people who have (you yourself may have) quit. But almost never do people who quit smoking do it via group support. Rather than ask why that is, let’s simply note it as a reality. And it’s also true that people quit all sorts of other addictions without joining groups. But we tend to hear less from them about their doing so than we do from AA members. One reason for that is the thought that you express Charlotte. People may say that it’s impossible — and criticize them — for going it on their own.
3. Of course, there are forms of support other than AA.
   Just because you don’t attend AA doesn’t mean you’re not getting social and group support. What about your family and friends? They certainly want to see you change for the better and will help you in any way that they can.
   And there are other groups you can join or be part of that aren’t built around either drinking or not drinking. What about bird watchers? What about fitness groups? And there are, of course, non-AA support groups for people with drinking problems. The most prominent of these is SMART Recovery, which has online support groups available to everyone.
4.  Finally, let me humbly suggest the Life Process Program as a source of support.
   If you choose the LPP coaching option, you will interact with one of our highly supportive coaches. In addition, LPP organizes a weekly online support group.

So the answer to your question, Charlotte, is that you don’t have to attend AA meetings if you dislike them. Yet you are still able to change how or whether you drink. And, if you wish to find support for changing the role of drinking in your life, groups are available that offer various non-AA, non-abstinence, non-12-step assistance.

And, then, there is the old fashioned way of getting support for change. Find a positive group of people to join. Or seek support for change from friends and family — the people who most want you to be happy and healthy.

Cheers!
Stanton