Am I too old to make a change?

Dear Stanton: Am I Too Old to Quit My Addiction?

Dear Stanton,
I’m over 50, and I’ve struggled with addiction for most of my adult life. I’ve been to rehab, AA, and tried countless self-help books, but I always seem to slip back into old habits. I came across the Life Process Program while looking for alternatives and felt like your approach spoke directly to my situation. But after all these years, is it too late for me to make a lasting change? Can your program really help someone like me, who has tried and failed so many times before?
Ricardo

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Dear Ricardo,
In a word, No, you’re never too old to change!

And we can help you to do that.

I receive numerous emails from people who have failed at change making (quitting an addiction). Many then later succeed. Indeed, they are the basis of our Life Process Program clientele.

Think of Barack Obama

One might suppose that those who don’t quit their addictions early on (think of smoking with all its dangers) will never do so. But they do, all the time. Think of Barack Obama — a man with two daughters and, need I say, former President of the US. He entered his presidency still smoking!

Barack Obama has passed his first presidential physical with flying colors: At 48, he’s in “excellent health,” with 20/20 vision, and a resting heart rate of 56 bpm. But some Americans are concerned by the doctor’s recommendation that he “continue smoking cessation efforts” — evidence that the president still hasn’t kicked his decades-old cigarette habit.

Now he has.

He had greatly reduced its place in his life — never smoking publicly or in front of his daughters.

Now, in his late fifties/sixties, he has quit.

What made him quit? His daughters becoming aware, his position as a world leader, and his continued health and other concerns.

The Data

One researcher — Dr. Gene Heyman — has made it his research goal to understand the dynamics of why people quit addictions. This means tracking at what point in their lives they quit. Many do it quite early — especially with drugs like cocaine and heroin (opioids). Others linger longer (and more often do so with alcohol and smoking).

Here is what Heyman discovered:

According to the idea that addiction is a chronic relapsing disease, remission is at most a temporary state. Either addicts never stop using drugs, or if they do stop, remission is short lived. However, research on remission reveals a more complex picture. In national epidemiological surveys that recruited representative drug users, remission rates varied widely and were markedly different for legal and illegal drugs and for different racial/ethnic groups. For instance, the half-life for cocaine dependence was four years, but for alcohol dependence it was 16 years, and although most dependent cocaine users remitted before age 30, about 5% remained heavy cocaine users well into their forties.

But what Heyman discovered was that, quitting earlier or later, the same dynamics prevailed. To wit:

Although varied, the remission results were orderly. An exponential growth curve closely approximated the cumulative frequency of remitting for different drugs and different ethnic/racial groups. Thus, each year a constant proportion of those still addicted remitted, independent of the number of years since the onset of dependence.

Why do they quit late?

What does that last sentence mean in plain English?

That, whenever people addicted to substances quit, their reasons for doing so are the same: their concern for their health, their image of themselves themselves (that is their pride) and their image to others — particularly their intimate family members.

It’s the same old story — as it was for Barack Obama. We don’t know why it takes some people longer than others. But the dynamics of quitting addiction remain the same whenever they occur.

What this means for you and other late quitters

OF COURSE IT’S POSSIBLE TO QUIT LATE. You’re doing it right now. By that I mean your persistence in wanting to quit indicates the deeper motivational threads in your life — your life goals and values. These may take some time to foment and to ripen. BUT THEY WILL CONTINUE TO COME TO THE SURFACE.

Your writing me is a part of that process (which I have described here for the Life Process Program) :

The key is that people don’t quit because they’re fundamentally different; they quit because something in their life has shifted, and they’ve found a compelling reason to move forward.

How we help

At LPP, we often find that individuals who struggle to quit have not yet found a deeper sense of fulfillment that outdoes their addiction. One person might quit when they realize that their behavior is incompatible with being a PTA president. Another might stop because they want to be a better parent. Yet another might decide that they want their parents to feel proud of them again.

The point is, we can’t always predict what will make someone finally let go of their addiction. But we do know that when someone finds a compelling, positive reason to quit—something more valuable than the addiction—it becomes much easier to leave that behavior behind.

We do that in several ways:

• First and foremost, we help you to be aware that addiction is not a lifetime disease, and that you were NOT born to be a lifetime addict.
• Second, and equally important, we work with you through motivational techniques, like exploring your values together, to sharpen your focus on why you want to quit.

We are engaging already around these points with this FAQ. Come join LPP and complete this process!

Dr. Stanton Peele