Dear Reverend Santorum: I’m 66, Is Sex Okay?

Mr. Santorum—I’m a senior—can I have sex when you become President?

It turns out that what divides Americans most of all—to judge from the most heated current political controversies—is … sex!

Since I am a Democrat—I’m for it! (At least, I think that’s our position—maybe not?)

But the Republican presidential candidate who is now leading in the polls, Rick Santorum, has expressed the view that sex should only be permitted within marriage and for the purpose of procreation.

Here’s my problem—I’m a senior citizen, and so is my girlfriend, so (a) we’re not married, (b) we ain’t procreating, (c) but we, ahem… and, God willing, will continue to, ahem…

Rick—we’re not going to be banned from, ahem… going to heaven? I hasten to add: We’re not gay, for heaven’s sake!* Also, we don’t use contraceptives—so we’re okay there!

So, if you’re elected President, will we be allowed to… ahem?

*Rick, on a personal note, can I ask you—have you even considered that you may be… ahem… just a little bit… and that you might see more of the appeal in… ahem… if you dated within your gender?  Just a thought!

** This discussion reminds me of the old joke concerning another reverend—the Reverend Thomas Malthus—who said that the population increases inexorably unless and until it is checked by famine, war, and disease (this was before reliable birth control—remember?):  “Considering Malthus, is sex necessary? On the other hand, considering sex (and birth control), is Malthus necessary?”

Stanton Peele

Dr. Stanton Peele, recognized as one of the world's leading addiction experts by The Fix, developed the Life Process Program after decades of research, writing, and treatment about and for people with addictions. Dr. Peele is the author of 14 books. His work has been published in leading professional journals and popular publications around the globe.

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